i hate life!

lol.. well.. things are really going haywired these few days and weeks.. i went to a few ppl's blog and read.. hahaa.. i really think tt there is some sort of curse going around.. it seems to mi lyk many ppl or many i shld just say myself are having a lot of friendship problems.. and i can tell u that it is real horrible.. lol.. haiz.. i try to cheer them up but i could not.. well.. coz i cannot even do tt myself.. haiz..


i have actually wanted to blog abt the things recently.. but really.. there are just too many things going ard tt i dunno where shld i start from.. maybe i shld just start from the class.. lol.. our class is lyk having many unhappy arguments over the class tee designs.. if this continues, well i dun think we can bond.. they may say and think tt we the minority are not cooperating with them.. but have they really think tt they have??? i can see tt they are trying to make an effort to try to bond the class and get the tee shirt designs done fast.. ya.. but they cannot in a way also just think one sided.. lol.. really lah.. at first, they wanted us to give comments abt the design.. and we do tt through voting.. some ppl din vote but do they really noe who? well.. forget it.. in the first place did they ask us if we want a polo tee anotx lorx.. den now our tee is black and some ppl grumbled tt it is black agn.. it is ok if they wan lime green or other colours.. just dun let it be polo tee lah.. haiz.. and they just blame the minority for not cooperating with them.. this thing is suppose to sort of bring the class closer but i think we even drifted further apart.. den, mr tan got to noe abt all the unhappiness and he told us not to take things personally.. well.. wad did he mean of tt? lol.. and after tt was silience.. haha.. actually i agree with something he says.. it is not the shirt tt counts.. it is the devotion tt really matters.. haha.. it is this meaning lah.. i forget wad he say le.. and i really agree to it.. for example, in pri sch, we robotics had a shirt only when we went for the last copetition or so.. it is not really very very nice lyk tt and we din get to design it ourselves.. however, i still like it a lot and kept it till now becoz it really brough back a lot of memories.. of coz there were happy n unhappy.. but i think the few of us really had a wonderful time.. well.. i shan say anymore.. it has already been decided.. haha.. we have a real spastic smiley face at the back of the class tee.. haha..


actually, i have alwaes wanted to apologize to the suo na juniors.. I AM REALLY SORRY.. but actually i din wan it.. really.. i dun wish tt it will happen.. but at tt time i din really have a choice.. i noe tt all of u blame mi for tt.. i noe tt i am at fault tt cause u all to be so unhappy n in the state now.. i noe tt it has a big impact on all of u.. i noe tt becoz i was once in suo na too.. i noe tt that feeling is not gd.. all the looks frm the rest of the ppl.. becoz it is a loud n noisy instrument.. and u all din have a senior or junior.. i noe tt i am of no use.. u all say tt i pian u all in n after tt i leave.. i am sorry k.. but do u all noe tt i din wan it too.. i feel guilty for asking u all to join it becoz i hate tt instrument too.. esp when it was the time when i persuade u all to join.. i haven been feeling gd abt it too.. i really haven.. and well.. i can tell u all that i understand the feeling of blowing tt instrument.. it sux.. and recently, things have been going on.. i noe it is somehow related.. i saw tt in ur blog.. i am feeling bad abt it too.. sorry.. i noe tt no matter how many sorry and how many times i apologize or wadever i do.. it wun make up.. becoz it is a fact tt cannot be change animore.. i really din mean to bluff.. many times u all joke with mi abt these and hated mi for it.. but do u all really noe how i feel abt it? well.. i think u all dun.. i am sorry.. i feel sad over it too when u all "joke" abt it.. eg. during tt day when the sec 1s choose their intruments.. i noe tt memories brought tt scene back 1 yr ago.. i took tt seriously too.. have u all been in the situation i am in? do u all really think i wan it? i dun.. y do i have to bring myself into these situation? i din have a choice when at first i am tt instru too.. i dun just lyk u all.. i was even worse.. the only sec 2.. i am also the only sec 1 who is in dizi too.. it was lonely.. the looks and attitude from the rest of the ppl.. i din play well.. i am the worse for both the instru.. and there tt time was syf.. it had a BIG impact on mi too.. i could not accept it either.. but i din have a choice.. and it is not fair for mi either.. i noe tt it is not fair for u all too.. ppl will just say tt it is ok.. not tt bad.. u can do it.. ya.. i have been saying all these to u all too.. but it will not help.. i really understand.. becoz i have been through it.. and tt time i was in both instruments and tt conductor dun treat us(me and weiqi) lyk we are playing dizi.. i can tell tt she feel tt way too.. but she work hard and she could take it.. the seniors dun understand it too.. haiz.. but it is now all over for mi.. although i dun play suo na animore, but there is another problem and stress tt is facing mi now and it will continue until i leave.. i am sorry.. i din mean to blame u all.. it was neither wad u all wanted.. but those words really hit mi hard.. i noe u all meant it to be a joke.. but it has not been easy for mi too.. haiz.. just hope tt things will be better..