Eeyore~Little Me
Friday, March 03, 2006
ya.. wad u say is right.. both of us were at fault k.. and because we din clear the problems we had right from the start had ended us up in this.. so we both had to be responsible for it.. well.. sorry.. but just 1 thing, when i said sry to u face to face tt time i noe tt it was really inappropriate.. however, i did sort of say why.. i said tt i am sorry becoz of co things.. maybe i din express it clearly.. ya.. i think i really din.. and maybe u din hear mi.. i noe i spoke quite softly when i said those things.. so it is not ur fault tt u din hear.. ya.. maybe u r right.. i said too many sorrys.. well.. so ppl dun believe mi when i say the real sorry.. but i can tell you tt i am really sincere when i said it to you and when i wrote it to u.. truthfully.. ya.. u din mention name and din reveal the whole thing.. but i din reveal the things too.. i was just responding to ur post becoz i was really very angry too.. but i guess many ppl could tell.. esp those who are close to us or even just know us.. i guess we were making it quite obvious.. because there was suddenly a drastic change between us.. even if they nv read our posts, they will have guess tt something happen.. imagine last time when we used to be SO gd, and suddenly now din really even tok to each other? those who noe us will surely notice the change right? it is very obvious lah.. so even if we dun reveal each other name, it is still quite clear to other ppl.. they will noe abt this sooner or later.. it is really very ming xian.. and i din mention ur name too.. i din reveal the things too.. i was also just expressing my feelings and opinions abt wad happen.. and i din blame u or say tt u mention my name.. if i were u, maybe i wld have done so.. who noes? sorry.. yeah i gt my family members but i dun tok to them abt such stuffs too.. they dun really care abt mi for sch stuffs.. ok.. but i guess i am better than u.. but i think in friendship, i am a loser.. i am worse off than u.. i am just a shi bai zhe.. so is che ping.. i guess i am also wrong for rushing u give mi a definite answer at tt time.. but i really need an answer.. i am totally lost and without directions.. just like being lost in a jungle, dunno which way to go.. and if just take a wrong step den maybe i might regret for the rest of my life.. i am also getting my punishment now.. and i think i am trying to change for the better now.. i really hope tt i din do it wrongly.. if i did, pls tell mi.. coz i really dun wan another of this to happen again.. i cannot take another blow of this anymore.. if not i think i will really collapse.. really.. this had already made an impact big enough for mi to rmb for the rest of my life.. i nv felt so depressed and so upset.. never.. this is the first time.. ya.. and i really really really hope that we will get this over very soon.. i certainly hope so.. i dun lyk tt feeling too.. u can understand.. i am sure.. u noe we are lyk seeing each other alomst everyday and most of the time.. ya.. tt feeling is awkward.. and i dunno y my parents mention u recently.. and i seriously dunno how to answer them.. lol.. and i seriously think that we need to solve the problems face to face.. it is faster and clearly this way.. so can we have a good talk with each other? if u are prepared already.. i hope it will really help solve the problems and not make it worse..
and ya.. i also just want to tell u tt i actually still care for u.. can see that u are depressed over the class stuff too.. which is actually abt the class tee.. noe tt u put in a lot of effort for the class tee.. i am sorry if i have done something wrong in class becoz of the class tee thing.. and dun worry abt it k.. it will turn out alright.. i am sure the class wun blame u.. it is not ur fault tt the words are not clear enough.. so stop stressing urself and get depress over it.. just wan to let u noe i will try to be back to my old self and u will too.. and tt i can still be and will be there for u if u need and u accept it.. i also wan to apologize for being harsh on my words in my previous posts.. i guess i was also very heated then.. it goes the same for u too bah.. dunno.. haiz..
pls.. i really hope tt we can get back to the old days.. with all the craps and laughters.. the times when we talk over the phone late at night discussing abt hw and stuffs.. the times when we study together during exams.. the times when we gossip together abt other ppl.. the times tt we walk home and laugh.. the times tt we were so gd and close to each other and do a lot of things together.. i really miss them all.. really.. and i cannot imagine tt i cried everytime when i read ur posts and when i posted mine.. i cannot believe it.. the words are so hurting tt it all hit my heart hard.. haiz.. i really dunno wad to do.. i really din mean wad i really do.. really.. i dunno wad came over mi those times.. but i truly regretted my actions.. i noe there are times tt we quarrelled too.. but it was not as bad.. becoz we could compromise with each other.. friends shld really compromise each other and be frank, taking it their mistakes, telling them and help them to correct them, forgiving their shortcoming and understanding them too.. at the same time reflecting on wad u had done and apologize for wad u did.. be glad tt they could compromise u and dun take them for granted.. be good to them too.. vice versa if u wan ur friend to be gd to u.. this is really a true and honest friend and wad we call a true friend.. i hope and really hope we could get back to the old days.. i treasure them.. can broken glass be back to the same again?
jiemin
11:56 PM